Dolly 3, Just to clarify

First of all I would like to say I wrote a really amazing piece just now and I freaking lost it to this stupid cyber world! GRRR! So this is my second attempt tonight. Thank goodness the baby is asleep and the vino is now flowing. secondly, I would also like to thank everyone who has commented on my posts. It really means a lot to me. This has been a huge achievement and challenge in my life and I am so happy for you all to ride this new adventure with me. Thank you and I love you all!

So just to clarify, my mother is not this horrible monster who locked me up in a dark dingy dungeon somewhere and tortured me. She actually can be a very beautiful person. She was a young mother who didn’t have the best of role models. She did not know what the hell to do with a child or children for that matter. She was a child herself and she just might still be that child who doesn’t know what to do.

I do not blame her for it. I am taking this experience and making the best of it. What else am I supposed to do. Drink endless bottles of delicious red wine, and smoke myself silly? Ok… You caught me. I do indulge on many occasions. But it is all in good sensible nature.

I am not One of those crack head mommy’s with children you see on the side of the road holding signs that read “help homeless and need to feed my children” You know the ones, we all see them. We pretend not to, we lock our doors and roll up our windows, and we pray the damn light turns green soon. We pretend not to stare, but we are. Were wondering what the hell happened to them. Then we see the children’s faces and we just want to feed them or help in some way. Then finally the light turns green, the moments passed and we drive on our merrily way. No, I am not that crack head holding up sings. Just to Clarify.

I am who I am because of how I was raised. It has made me who I am today. I am a wife, a sister, a friend, and the best damn mother I can possible be. I will always strive to be the best I can be for the rest of my life. That is the only thing I know to do. And guess who instilled those morals into my life. Yup, good ol’ Dolores! ” Be the best you can be, you need to be able to take care of yourself because nobody is going to take care of you but you!” That’s what she always told us. That is what I’ve always lived by.

Ever since I could remember my mother worked, and was a single mother. She had her own business, a hair salon. She worked long days and came home tired. But she always made sure she cooked us dinner and had food in the refrigerator. She did what she could. I was able to see a woman with her own business working her butt off with four children. She was my role model for a long time. I looked up to her. She was super woman to me. Then I grew up.

I moved out when I was seventeen years old. I finished high school and put myself through college successfully. I wanted to be able to pay my own bills and bring home my own grocery’s. I figured that since I was working and helping my mother pay bills, that I could do it for myself. So I worked all through high school and college. I am ok with this, it has made me who I am today. And I am proud of who I am. No I am not perfect, but I do what I can, and I love with every ounce of me that there is. And for all of that I thank you Dolores, Mom. Thank You.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Phil
    Feb 27, 2014 @ 20:00:02

    I love your description of a crack head! Keep those types of descriptions to details and you will continue to write amazing stuff. Another well done entry! I love you because you are so beautiful inside and out.


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