Dolly 2

So this is day two of my writing challenge and I am not quite sure where to begin? I guess I could go into details of that night where my mother’s world came crashing down. When all she wanted to do was kick and scream. To die and hide forever in her web of secrets and lies. And all I wanted to do was punish her for making me keep her secrets, and carry on like nothing. To ignore the fact that everything I saw affected me and my life. But I won’t, the details of that night aren’t important nor are countless other nights. At least at this point in time, maybe in a later letter.
The important thing here for me, is that I feel good about what I did. I set my self free. I couldn’t keep her secrets inside any longer, and she is mad at me for that. Or maybe she’s not mad at me at all an is actually mad at herself. But she can’t seem to realize or admit that to herself. Either way I have learned how to take charge of my own life. I learned that following the patterns that were set for me in life is not always the best path to take. I have learned that hard way, and almost at the cost of my marriage. I learned that it’s ok to admit when I’m wrong or at fault. No matter how hard it may be or how hurtful, and to be ok with that.
There is not one perfect person in this whole world. I definitely am not perfect. So why do we all try so hard to be perfect? I think the imperfections of life is what makes this world so beautiful. How else can we tell if something is truly magnificent? We can’t have good without the bad. Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be what we are not. Or to be what someone else is or wants us to be. Each and every one of us is a liar or cheater in some sort of aspect in our lives, some more than others. lets accept it, move on and improve the parts of our lives that were not proud of. Isnt that the best we can do anyways? Were not superheros here.
I like to think that all families have their own deep dark secrets. Maybe they do, maybe they don’t, and maybe they stay in the dark. How can we live your life to its fullest with that weight on your shoulders? Some things are just meant to be said. Or are they? I guess I am on that journey of finding out.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Jamie
    Feb 27, 2014 @ 05:20:01

    You are a beautiful person inside and out Zeyna. I’m lucky to have met you that day at the mall in college. Something I’d never done before. That moment in life was awesome and led me to many great memories with you. But there are many other memories we are left with that happen throughout life that we didn’t ask for and sometimes change us. I believe both good and bad happen to us to show us our true strength. You, Zeyna, are one of the strongest I know and I love every part that! Keep on writing because you are telling YOUR story.

    Reply

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